Its Done!!

Humility

2010-04-08T01:52:00.001+05:30

She does not know or care whether I am a saint. She won’t care if I am an atheist, a believer, a nihilist, a criminal, an emotional cheater, a patriot or a dictator. She won’t care if I am an adult or child. She does not know whether I deserve it. I, like many others, shamelessly went on to embrace her kindness.

She danced and danced all day, like no one was watching. She showered kisses of breeze every moment of the day and night. She showed me how to soothe the mighty hot into a serene twilight. She made me sleep into the lullaby.

Finally, She showed me what simplicity and humility was all about. She’s the Ocean. No, literally.. the Arabian Sea. Awesome trip to Goa it was.

Buzzkill

2010-03-22T12:14:00.001+05:30

things are serene,
as long as you are you,
things are fine,
as long as you are pure.

a putiry coming from innerself,
gets spiked when you anticipate
a happy aura from the other shelf,
riddled with its own termite

and when it bites you,
damn a major buzzkill,
worse than waterboarding,
awakening you to a reality,
where every one look gory,
and you find no amusement
in the company of the innocents,
withdrawing away to yourself,
to get back to what you were,
an unquestionable individuality,
in its purest form,
manifesting into this sustainable
mother of all eternal emotions,
all praise and glory to... self-love.

_______________________________________

2010-03-16T00:20:00.001+05:30

And the train doesn't halt,
world passing by unreachable,
i wave and it's not my fault,
if i don't see them waving back.

standing tall at the exit,
feeling the wind blowing into the face,
eyes closed, faint memories of hurt
happiness, epiphany, revolving

passing clouds, drenching rains,
nauseating hypocrisies, that weak innocence,
people cheating their own heart
for a moral sense defined by someone else.

_______________________________________________

mirage

2010-02-23T01:17:00.001+05:30

In the middle of the desert,
wandering around for a hope,
and distant mirages of hurt,
struggling hard to cope.

just a drop that's enough,
of all that ocean that's you,
to break this hand-cuff,
to liberate this soul, that's true

ticking away the ruthless time,
stealing away those cent and dime,
fiddling around for that lost rhyme,
rushing to catch that last chime.

the only thing that I ever knew,
snatched away before it brew
into something transcendental,
into something fundamental.

______________________________________

Random...

2010-01-25T00:48:00.001+05:30

I wanted to write a lot.
I'd rather do it at a later event independent of the current events troubling me, so that I can make it a little unbiased.
Meanwhile, I'd have to go through this thoughtful torment troubling me to reach a solid conclusion.

____________________________

Reminder

2010-01-05T02:17:00.001+05:30

I am not an avid book reader. In fact, the first book I ever read a book on my own will was Shidney Sheldon's "Tell Me Your Dreams". I am guilty, but hey, it was a good one! Then comes the "A medal of honor" by Jeffery Archer. And then I think, J D Salinger's "The Catcher in the Rye" which was followed by Love in the Time of Cholera, Five Point Someone, The Zahir, P G Wodehouse's What Ho!, Why men don't listen and women can't read maps, Hundred years of Solitude, Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy and thats it? I can't recollect!! That's too few a number of books read by someone who aspires to write! Exactly! I think it is essential. Whenever I read a book, I read it so slow and steady, praising each and every thought that went into a sentence formation, the words that were chose (looking at dictionary for the EXACT meaning that was meant for the tougher ones, rather than a vague one meant to understand the sentence) and the inherent meaning of life that they try to portray. The overall plot was barely a requirement to entice me into reading. Every moment and scene, I thought, was a sub-plot in itself.
Coming to the essential part, I am afraid of reading any more. I am afraid that my thoughts are being controlled by someone I don't even know personally. After every read, which I take a good full week, I am usually left with an aura binding me to discuss related things with friends. It's not a good sign, IMO. :)
And.. Oh! A fortnight ago, Odyssey bookstore called me about the availability of this book called "The Best Poems of the English Language" by Herold Bloom. They are late by almost four months! I guess it's too late. I had seen this book in Bombay when I was staying with Joshi during my extended period in my college. I used to visit and sit down in the Crossword books store, in Hiranandani, which was on my way to the campus. I remember checking out quite a few good books during that period.. especially that contained short stories so that I can give a quick read. There was this collection of French stories translated by some author.. the story which I can never forget was about this knight/warrior stuck in the middle-east deserts after a gruesome war.. who was in turn welcomed by a company filled with tenderness, a leopard (a female one). He kind of domesticates it and shows all kinds of affection which a cat lover ought to. No, its not beastiality your mofos! Anyway, the french warrior had to kill it at the end because "a leopard's acts are after all, well, 'leopardy'". Back to where I was, so I had checked this book out on poems during that period. It's an absolute marvel. It had an introduction to the 'art of reading poetry', definitions of five types of poetry which was followed by the unlimited chapters, each dedicated to great poets the world has ever known. It was hard bound and priced at no less than INR 1100. I was financially broke and anyway I was never into buying books at that time. Then comes bangalore into picture, new friends and friend(s) who are into poetry. End of August 2008, I frantically search for this book to gift someone but ended up in just carrying a black forest cake to celebrate the event. August 2009 again reminded me of this book, but again ended up gifting a bunch of nonsensical books to fill the void. All through the august I searched literally everywhere for this book, Landmark-to-crossword-to-odyssey-to-bunch-of-tiny-book-stores-in-churchstreet. I told landmark, crossword and odyssey to call me ASAP if they find the book. Odyssey called me two weeks ago, frigging four months later. Went down last Sunday to the store and picked it up. The shop girl was protecting the book from others buying it.. by hiding it in the cupboard :). It was paper bound. The pages were not that high quality, seemed like a poorman's/lightweight-environment-conscious-print version. 738 bucks. The call from Odyssey reminded me. Of the good times. Like I get reminded every single fucking day. I gave a quick read of some of the initial pages. It was not amusing. Rather, I thought it was confusing. Two years ago, I did not feel so when I had read the same portion in Bombay. The book's contents never changed.. except for the degraded papers.

2010-01-03T01:23:00.000+05:30

Ok, What is the first thing that you worry about when you move to a new place, all alone by yourself and you don't know the solution because you never worried about it when you lived with four other generous friends? Especially when you have just occupied the 1BHK which bore the owners for more than 4 years or so?
Is it the white wash? No! Is it the not-working-tubelights-or-bulbs? No! Is it the this-place-is-so-fucking-empty-because-you-din't-buy-anything-substantial-in-almost-two-years-except-the-only-bike-which-you-are-anyway-proud-of?? NO, again!
I'll say what.. its the fucking PESTS.. YES, the cockroaches and the lizards. That's it. I have not encountered any other species in my room since I moved in, except my alter ego, not even the inter-species between roaches and reptiles.. IF thats a feasibility.
At first, I observed that the house was very badly maintained.. there was dirt.. and the dirt was very stubborn to be even removed by a professional I had hired for a day. It was oily and what not. Were the owners running a fucking slaughter house in here!? I thought... then I just gave-up, I think they'll(pests) just vanish.. i mean i dont know why but I somehow intutioned (yep, I made that word up according to firefox spellcheck) that they might vanish since i was
here.. .. anyway.. sadly, my presence had no affect at all..
Finally I bought this tool, for which I was always excited to use when I was a kid but never was allowed by my mom... "MORTIEN INSECT KILLER"... I am guilty of killing atleast THREE rcockroaches.. I am guilty of making the lizards starve! Not really, I have to yet figure out the food source of the lizrads..

Off topic, I have been trying out different brands of wine since recently. I have to admit that red wine is the thing.. never tried out the good stuff, but even he cheaper ones like "Cellar Pride" made me feel good.. and I discovered that I HATE WHITE WINE.. i have no idea if all white wines follow the same suit, but it seems sourness is the main theme.. i hate it..

2009-09-29T14:53:00.000+05:30

And finally, I am moving into a 1BHK to live alone starting October. It's been almost two years staying with five of my batch mates in a house which has been cursed infinitely many times by all of us. This new place is close by, so that I can pop back at my ever welcoming generous roomies place during dreadful weekends. The roomies themselves are moving at the same time into a new cozy big apartment in Diamond District, so there's enough room for everyone during weekend parties! I do realize that living alone is pretty tough. And I am planning to fill the new house with inanimate objects to amuse myself and fill in the void of human absence if that works.
The thought of living alone had been lingering since more that 6 months and I even had ideas of how kickass it would be given the non-iit social expansion that happened during the past 2 years in Bangalore. Either it was or not my choice, I know for sure that the ideas won't/can't be materialized. People are weird. Just like me, but in a different dimension. I would like to call it a stupid dimension but then again, what's stupid to me could be the right intellectual shit to them. It's like you make friends from a different dimension and you expect them to understand, which is a height of improbability. Even the one who hopped into your dimension once in a while gives a big blow, you tend to lose faith in all of those who are known lingering in that dimension. You think, the phase angles match at all the times and a resonance is bound to happen ..only to realize finally that their waves are transverse to yours!
Also I realised I fucking hate extroverts who say out things even before they think. I am not sure if I am a complete introvert, but I can connect myself a lot to this esteem boosting article on introverts http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200303/rauch
And the need to get back to writing is increasing in quantities unmatched to those prior to these times. Need to fix my computer once I move out, since anyway solitude is the food for writers. oops did i call myself a ...writer? my bad. And need to listen to MUSIC. A LOT.

Dead Man

2009-09-02T23:31:00.001+05:30

Dead man walking,
dead man talking,
your palm's so cold,
your hair so old.
there's cold blood trickling,
there's your face sickening,
where's the smile?
where's the flesh?
were you dead as a child?
were you lost in the wild?

yes, i have grown dead,
yes, i have a lot bled,
i did wait for Santa clause,
i did make a lot of flaws,
but that's when I was alive,
and then i had to revive,
to something not a pain,
to something very inane.

__________________________

crap

2009-09-01T19:17:00.000+05:30

Just recollected this famous quote on emotions!

"If you tell the truth about how you're feeling, it becomes funny"

_____________________

Testing

2009-08-14T00:23:00.001+05:30

Test 1 2 3

2009-08-12T21:24:00.000+05:30

Funny, how things, if they don't go according to your expectations, can wreck havoc in your life. I have an understanding that 'expectation' is the root cause of all suffering in this world. Of course, I am not talking about poverty or hunger, which have no solution unless one empowers themselves and fights back for food. In fact, that alone is the real suffering, in my opinion. Everything else is a self inflicted one. Be it emotional, greed, vanity, et al. Emotional suffering is something when you want someone to act in a certain way, they don't and you feel let down, sobbing, feeling bad and shit like that. I was wondering if there's a way, like for the real suffering, to empower oneself and overcome this self inflicted egotistic suffering. Like, you modify your behavioural aspects, attitude or likewise elements required for social existence and gain all the love and respect from anyone you please. Maybe, you fake it. Like a billionaire conman, in his/her field. A billionaire conman is evidently more than happy as far as money is concerned. Would it apply the same for this emotional conman? Or would there be a huge void, somewhere deep inside his/her heart, with a packed garbage of real feelings and passion, lying at the bottom of this pit, untouched? That's the shit that scares me, the garbage. I chose the plain, stolid way of not expecting anything whatsoever from people. "You don't like my shit? No problemo! I still like to talk to you! You got fine thoughts and opinions, including the ones about my shit". I was like that. But it's drifting away and I don't know why. And it's turned into a huge cyclone, hurling things around. I'll sleep on it, giving it some time to settle down though.
They say, when you are sad, just think of all the people suffering in this world, sadder than what you are right now. Thank God for giving so much comfort to you than others. That's bullshit and hypocritical according to me**. Because, if I start thinking of all the happier people than me when I am feeling happy, I would go into maybe a third degree depression for not having all those things with me. I say this because I will be involved with my own sadness when I am sad, as much as I am involved with my own happiness when I am happy. I am not sad, I just expected a response from someone. I am not happy, I just like things whatever they might be. That's it. But the drift, oh, happens once in a while, signaling something better than this. That's a gift and a curse.

Off topic, I am planning to write a play, in the style of ancient Rome plays. About a simpleton finding a magical statue in a forest. This statue can come to life and go back to being motionless, on it's own discretion. Phew, excited.

** If you think of it, its pure sadism too, in a way, indirectly feeling happy about others' suffering.

twisted

2009-07-05T03:25:00.000+05:30

when you are happy as a bee,
that is what i want to see,
when you're chirping around crazy,
that is what i want from you, daisy....

rarely i do get to see such a thing,
where you carry around a zing,
merry about sweet nothings,
fluttering like you got some wings.

making my infatuation
stronger,
contorting myself more
dafter,
for.. i think it'll remain
unreturned.

__________________________

need to binge

2009-07-01T02:01:00.000+05:30

where's the freedom i had,
where's the innocence i knew,
where's the good and bad,
where's the all that's true

where's the creature in me,
where's the soul of mine,
where's the whine and glee,
where's the all that's fine.

a creeping insipidity,
a soothing indifference,

give back my appetite,
for i need to... live a life.

eye candy

2009-07-01T01:01:00.000+05:30

when i look into your eyes,
without a flinch or dither,
don't you see the disguise
of a growing storm within?

each time...
i make and break
the same resolution,
a never-ending
cycle of reverberation,
i cannot stop this
new familiarity
which takes me away
from solidarity

a reverberation
i cannot stop
which is tuned
to the lazy heart.

___________________

Why God, Why!

2009-04-26T19:13:00.000+05:30

I have definitely come to a conclusion that ignorance is a social trait. Though the event I am going to describe has to deal with a tad bit of knowledge in science or in general a 5th grade kid astronomy knowledge, I am sure that a lack of this general information about our night sky is a bit scary. Even if you were uneducated, you would know it from childhood as akashaganga in hindi ( i knew from my nani as 'palapuntha' in telugu - literally milky way).
Okay, scene - Nandhi Hills. After a nice party at home, we all decide to head, at 1AM, to this place called nandhi hills near bangalore. We make a stop at a right spot, some 1150mts above mean sea level, to marvel at the beauty of the sky and the dark vastness ( or vast darkness? ) spread into the hills and the land. We send a J. Everyone is like relaxed and admiring the stars - some looking for shooting stars ( G., you are right man, they aint no stars - its stones, meteoroids is a nice term, falling into the atmosphere and burning). I had my eyes on the hazy white stripe running across the sky and, like everyone else who were saying obvious things about what they see(hey, i saw a shooting star), I made a comment on this beautiful stretch. "Look at our galaxy man, it looks great". This guy is supposedly into software (psuedo technology), so I know I din't bump the comment into someone who is living a mystic world of art, abstractness and philosophy. He laughs at me and says "Dude, what are you high on man, those are the clouds!" or something like that. I reverted back saying "Dude, its the fucking milkyway man, you din't know or wot"? My loud voice made it reach to everyone else, making them laugh with unstoppable spasms. Happens with the J. And then it started, 9 Vs 1. People mocking at the galaxy comment, some trying to rectify me saying it could be some light from somewhere and sorts. One specimen said, its a "Constellation". She repeated, as though its going to add weight to an empty logical answer, assuring herself. Lets see - constellation is something where in you have some 3 to 15 stars together to form a meaningful object or a living thing look alike to the human eye (they are also the sun sings you so blindly believe in). I see a white band, almost straight, thick. Unless you were imagining it to be a white thick dick look-alike, that thing could never be close to a constellation. I wonder how the greek mythology missed this big constellation. By the way I just got to know an another definition of constellation by the scientific community - its some region defined by International Astronomical Union. And I am sure you were not referring to this - that should not have made you miss the milkyway knowledge anyway in the first place. I wish I had this argument right on at that time - it would be futile though - drowned in the J. ness. The thing ended with me explaining to a guy - that milkyway is disc shaped and that we are at the edge - so when you look towards the center of the galaxy you see so many stars clustered - you see the white band. And for people who can't fathom the complexity of spacial 3D, I said that our galaxy got the name milkyway because of that white band! Whoosh. Not convincing enough. I am glad it din't convince them so easily else I could have been a prophet. I left it for them to read from somewhere later or even better just not care about it. Earth is flat! So is your face, blank.
It's not about milkyway.
Anyhow, the trip to nandhi hills was awesome! And to keep updated on the previous post- i AM on my way - got an FZ16!

2009-03-14T00:55:00.000+05:30

The thought of taking a break from work has been lingering me since a few weeks. I am not sure if the work is tiresome or boring but the most important thing I realised was that you, as an individual, are not as important a human resource in a big firm. And so this lack of false sense of responsibility is an awesome feeling which I want to explore being at home. I got two ideas. One of the two ideas is to be at home, have mom's food to heart's conent, catch-up with old buddies, watch telugu movies and maybe give some liberal gyan to family people. But then I have to also bear the constant adivce/nag from parents about doing something with my career. The other idea is to saveup enough money, after buying a hip bike like FZ/R15/some cruiser, to last for atleast 2 months and stay in bangalore and to party atleast twice a week.. if possible freelance in between whenever I am fully conscious. I remember once asking our puzzle champion if he had infinite money ( or if he ever savesup such amounts), would he like to spend life lazying around, have long islands on a beach, party a lot, score chicks and sorts. He said 'no'. He said he'd like to use his brain for more productive activities, basically to keep it sharp and all. I say, nay, fuck it, give me the money. I consider the two month break I was contemplating about as a trial version of the bigger one. If I don't like it, I will stop craving to get filthy rich and get busy in silly little things as making this world easier and comfortable for others to live, showing people how big my brains are and sorts. However, if I do like it, it would be a long odreal getting busy to mint money using my extraordinarly mind-boggling brain skills.

extraordinary wishful thoughts

2009-03-07T00:54:00.000+05:30

this crave for the unattainable,
decomposing my so called dignity,
things would be explainable
only if you din't show frigidity

cradling my heart,
a feeling that was craft,
perfect as the dreams
these disastrous schemes

not a lesson learned
for these are the same
that left me burned
now replaced by your flame.

___________________________

false sense of passion

2009-02-26T13:04:00.000+05:30

Honestly I think, for a kind of person like me, if I am not reading books - I can't write. Couple of years ago I think I was good with vocabulary, be it in the usage of words or be it in their quantity. And now, I feel deprived of so many beautiful synonyms and metaphors while writing. Obviously, as I see it, the influx of many new words happened to me in a span of just one year or so when I was 20+, rather than being good in english subject when I was a kid. So, as some researchers claim, our brain stops growing at the age of around 20 and you can't take in anymore words. Its like a fixed legth array used as a queue or some sort.
I just finished reading P G Wodehouse's 'Ring for Jeeves' yesterday and I feel so elated with his witty and intelligent usage of words. I have this 10 books pack by P G Wodehouse, the best of his works it seems as claimed on its cover, for like INR 890. I had bought it almost a year ago and I finished with the second book, both were thin as an ipod touch. Though I love to read and write, I am generally forced to do either one when I am totally feeling like shit. Like now, when I am no more a numb zombie fixing bugs indefinitely. I feel alive again, only to realise that I am surrounded by the same zombies as I was. You can't speak anything to them except about bugs. I enquire if the bugs tasted good , if they were nasty too. This is my first experience working for a fairly big company as Philips, and I must confess - I HATE IT. The only thing I learnt here is not to work in such a zombie environment ever, where you get hyptnotized into assuming that you are one valuable zombie.
Four months ago, I was very much not a zombie - meeting new non-zombies, beer mugs, music, movies, laughs. Ok, enough of the term zombie i guess. But seriously, I was so fed up woprking for 12 hours everyday - that I had to blast at my manager over phone when he told me that he was disappointed because I couldn't get my code reviewed by my reviewer on a saturday since I reached office at 2pm and that I can't except the reviewer to be there during my own confortable timings. I literally shouted at him, "LOOK YOU NEED NOT BE DISSAPPOINTED BECAUSE THIS IS SATURDAY, AND I SHOULD NOT EVEN BE IN THE OFFICE"

Anyhow, I am trying to catch with people's blogs, even though everyone has moved to the super sexy, irressitable, chikni wordpress.
I feel like being in this dingy livejournal though :).

2009-02-18T23:35:00.000+05:30

created from nothingness,
with a thought of emptiness,
greeted with full of joy,
wonder gifted as a toy.

if it gets full, the curious slate
and no more care about the fate,
then show me how to live
the life you so yearned to give

if you can't rub off the etch
and can no more sketch
shall we dumb it down
or juggle as a clown?

_________________________

2009-02-17T23:03:00.000+05:30

As everyday passes by, I begin to worry more and more about the world we are facing. The news is generally grim, almost all of the days, and there is no end to it. And we are having more heated arguments amongst friends about who is more right and wrong, during major crisis like the Mumbai 26/11.
The course of discussions is usually like this: Hindu-Muslim to Pakistan via Taliban - USA - Russia - Communism - China - Hitler - Jews - Israel - Aliyah - Palestine - Gazastrip - Poverty - Zimbabwe - India - Pakistan.
And all of it is an ugly trip. The more we talk about the world, the more cynical we all become. You'll denounce capitalism, when you see its ugly side and at the same time curse communism for its unaccountability of power. Some say people of the various moral policing senas are jobless jerks and at the same time you start to wonder if their sensibilities towards things are actually making them do the things they do. Some say, it all started from Ayodhya in India - while some say we have been fighting like dogs ever since the creation of this subcontinent. The point of origin is usually also blamed on Israel troubling with Palestinians, who used the religion to unite their kind from all over the world for a 'cause'. Blame on Israel usually takes us to Hitler and his crankiness - which he developed during his own fucked up crisis like the great depression and WW1. A reasonable search for the past events which led to this shit, would take us through 600AD, 0-50AD, 2000BC and etc. In all this noise, we Indians have 'lost' our culture, our education system, our respect for women, our male chauvinism, our kurtas, pyjamas and the various achars - and these things get on to the nerves of some(or could be majority) of people in India. All or parts of what we read and hear could be true, or all of it could be an outright lie fed to us poor souls by the power hungry and rich aliens who get an orgasm while masturbating - looking at this voyeuristic suffering.
And on top of it the current recession. People are losing jobs like the chickens get culled during avian flu.

Is a true world order possible, with a peaceful coexistence of the promiscuous and the loyal conservative?

rattling silence

2009-02-12T00:01:00.000+05:30

become the water
become the wind
become the dust and sand
become the light
become the sight
become the people on this land
become the disease and cure
become something for sure
become the thought
become the naught
become the wealth you got
become the motion
become the notion
become the weaker emotion
become the numb
become the scum
become anything that's dumb

if you dont, someone else will,
to tame and change the way,
that was the bluish pill
and you wont have a say.

happy new clean wax-free ear.

2009-01-01T21:28:00.000+05:30

Inspite of taking almost a year's course in pubbing, the new year's was a little lame. It's like the time when I forgot to attend the endsem exam of Prof. Ananth Krishnan's state space analysis course. Instead, I took to office, a bottle of 'minute maid/pulpy orange' adultrated with a quarter of vodka because this new friend of mine, who's left leg is fractured and was confined to home-work for more than 4 months, was too desperate to just smell some alcohol. We had the vodka in the evening after work and wanted more. After finding out from the autowala for some really hip place to hang out at, we ended up at 'gururaj bar and restaurant'. Gururaj bar and restaurant is basically a wine shop with a backyard covered with asbestos roofing sheets. Well it WAS a hip place... but for the autowalas(No, I am not a professionist if that was equivalent of racist word used for such remarks). The bar was in no way different than the regular pubs, or so we thought. It was downlighted, best served, good food(not sure of quality), dancing is anyway 'banned 'so there's no need of a dance floor. And the best part is they charged meager 10 bucks extra on the MRP! If it were in the most cheapest so called hip pub, we would have had to lose a couple of grand.. each. When I returned home around 10ish, I tried waking up my somber roomies, who were spending the evening, as if it was just another fucking eve, well somber. Pondy was ready to join me and he called up the 'nearest stone throw distance from my place' pub only to find out it had a cover charge of, wait for it, well, hmm, not much but yeah a little high, yep,four followed by three zeros rupaiyya. Yes.. per head, even if it was a chicken's. How the hell do they expect each person spending 4000 I couldnt comprehend, because as per the menu rates, you'll either get choked eating so much or pass out drinking(And no, a balance between the two is not possible without, you knew it all along, throwing up).
Anyway, there was no proper partying on this new year's eve and I regret because I wont get to see, from what i heard, such crazy crowd on a normal weekend.

Its no use ending this without a conventional happiest ever new year greeting.

Wishing you, your significant other, your family members, their family members and basically to all of the people connected to you through six degrees of separation a happy new year which is prosperous, wonderful, rocking, with lots of love, lots of lols, lots of hotties, lots of music to the ears, lots of movies, lots of paryting, lots of everything which doesn't basically give a frown on the face and here's hoping for akshay kumar to cross the 100 crore mark this year to charge for his movies.

Back without a bang!!

2008-12-26T01:00:00.000+05:30

It has been exactly one year and one week since I came to Bangalore. Made a couple of friends to hangout with - other than roomies, changed the cool game-maker job, got ripped off from the autowalas inspite of my language advantage, realized that I am addicted to nicotine(oh, brb).... and that's it. Nothing much, nothing exciting. Oh wait, the pubs and strange acquaintances were kinda not bad. And for some strange reasons I have turned into a badass 'i dont give a f*ck' prick, with my beloved roomies being essentially the same as they were a year ago. Roomies being the great indian Pondy alias Punit Sinha, KPS alias Kshitij Sharma, Telnet alias Amit Kiran Sowani and DVD alias Aditya Dwivedi. Pondy being our Cheif Financial Officer, KPS being the source of all wordly pain, Telnet the puzzle wizzle, it has been so far so good in the triplex adjacent to the beautiful, ever flourishing habitat to the species Culicidae - a sewage canal.
Since I changed my job, I got to see the 'real' managers, collegues trying to take over the world with self-imposed 13 hour working habits, learnt some really cool english at work place and getting pro at being a kaam chor and tech jargon. The cool english includes, "I am having a lot of work, can I solve it later?" , "I will test this on the tarjet to see how it goes". I thank my mallu and tamil colleagues for helping me get really good at my already stricken english. Even though I am not having problems with my english in the past, these peoples have helped to polish it. And the work, most of the time its about scratching our heads with clueless huge set of subsystems. It's like using a crane to displace a safety pin or something like that. Honestly, we all hate it but the coolness of it, and the recession, keeps us going. It's a mindfuck. And so, I wish to blog till I am a sheep. I wish to blog shameless incoherent rants. I wish to blog like no one's reading.

-----------

2008-07-02T19:07:00.005+05:30

creeping under my skin
this sensation so thin,
not to lose in the crowd
for a sanity that keeps me proud.

creeping under my skin
this sensation so thin,
to get back to what i was
remorseful for the past flaws,

creeping under my skin
this sensation so thin,
to feel everything that's around
and to not give a stupid frown

to embrace the earth,
drown into ignorance,
close my eyelids for the worth
of pleasure of the fragrance.

Does randomness exist?

2008-06-30T01:09:00.006+05:30

intricacies that you claim to know
in this labyrinth of a life,
fumbling for the ultimate glow
just to end up in a strife?

defining happiness and pain,
defining craziness and hate
energies of the world that you drain
trying to write that flawless fate

you want my words of advice?
Apologies for being in the same boat,
and sailing through Nature's disguise,
i have been as much a scapegoat.

---------

Konvict

2007-12-02T19:23:00.000+05:30

abandoned from the sunshine
for days i cannot count
payed for the the past crime
shackled body and soul

in the darkest hours of the day
piercing ray of light brings
the storm, inactive as i lay
unbewildered, unelated for the springs

the iron chains magically disappear
leaving behind wounds to scar
i standup on forgotten muscles here,
to reach that pinnacle star

____________

(chorus) I'd like to see you pee on us tonight...

2007-12-02T03:38:00.000+05:30

I think, almost everyone understood where that came from... :)

for those in the dark, let me shed the light of BENNY LAVA!! i am too overly elated by this video, but wat the heck..

For quite some time, some indian music videos have been doing rounds on youtube receiving millions(6 million+) of views and thousands(10 thousand+) of comments. Obviously accounting to the vast difference in the culture, race, colour, language and tastes, and also accounting to the cultural, racial, lingual and sensory superiority and narcissism of each and every individual society, these videos got mocked front and back, red and blue. Nevertheless, there were some appreciations scattered here and there. I, after succumbing to the western cultural invasions all these years, myself found those videos tasteless, if not funny. Nevermind.

But! Benny Lava makes your day no matter what creed you belong to! I seriously find it the epitome of humour. I am awed by the video editor's keen observational synergy with his/her perversion! Its an art! Even a civilized society would not hesitate to give such a work of art a nobel prize. sadly, the our civilizations are too civilized i guess...

Watch the video right away(with your speaker's on)....

some observations..
-- the lines have a perfect context and a short story plot.
-- "I'd like to see you pee on us tonight" makes sense if it was an individual representing a group. But then my roommate and I agreed that, it makes more sense in chorus too if every one of them were giving their individual opinions and the opinions would coincidentally be exactly the same.
-- i and my roommate seem to laugh out loud every time we watch the video..
-- majority of the lines match how the sentences sound, and this is the only fact that makes this video worth watching..
-- it doesnt sound funny if the video was in a language you perfectly understand as i dont find "the indian thriller with english lyrics" funny enough.
-- the girl is sexy
-- i think prabu deva actually says "anybody need this sign benny lavo" in english

On a different note, instrumental lovers who also like rock get ecstatic listening to this rock version of pachelbel's cannon.. the notes are actually the my sassy girl's variant of cannon in d on piano .. harsha are u reading this ? ;)..
this video has 32 million views :)..

EOP.

Insipid

2007-11-25T22:21:00.000+05:30

Well, its been like ages the last time I posted something in here. So, why did I bother to make an entry now? It would be the state in which I am right now, unrestrained from the super-conscious control unit. But, damn I have no idea about what I should write. :) That's beccase super-conscious control unit does the thinking part, while sub-consious does its task of shooting impulses. Its fun. Its like you can concentrate on everything and nothing at the same time. You can sense the vibrations of your eardrums physically when you listen to music. A senseless question occured to me today,

"Why is good good than bad?" ( or why is bad bad than good?)

Right now this insensible question makes a lot of sense to me. Yet I don't have an answer. It's non-existant as I see it. The only way is to nullify the question, with the fact that there is no good or bad in this world.

Its been really long, me having a heartful talk and conversation with someone. Its been really long, me thinking about what the other person is thinking. Its been really long, me having a party. Its been really long, me doing anything. and i am tired.

For "The Greater Good"

2007-06-10T18:43:00.000+05:30

Heh. The title might seem like a follow-up to the previous one. Well, I dont really quite commit to my word(that I'd post more about the previous topic the next day) ;). So, this would be about a movie I saw a day ago. Its Hot Fuzz.

Best british humour for me till now I guess. Fantastic acting and writing by Simon Pegg! The movie has got every possible humour.. sarcasm, parody, practical jokes including slapstick. The movie is about a Police Constable Nicolas Angel and a Village named Sandford. The intro starts with Simon Pegg background voice and him walking seriously in the police department. "Police Constable Nicholas Angel. Born and schooled in London. Graduated Canterbury University in 1993 with a double first in politics and sociology...... excelled in police force".. blah. nice intro though.

Constable Nicolas Angel gets transferred from London by his jealous colleagues to this village because he makes other police officers look inferior(extraordinary 400% more arresting rate). This movie has got absolutely stunning screenplay, direction, camera work, special effects, background sound effects.They copied from all possible hollywood movies with such accuracy and quality. Like Requiem for a Dream, and most of the action movies like The Departed. No where it gets you bored. And you LOL once every 2 minutes. So, the constable gets promoted to Seargent + gets transferred to this village. He sees abnormal accidents happening over there and tries to investigate only to get sucked into major murders by the village heads. The village heads are pretty old chaps and they believe in doing gruesome crimes for "the greater good" of the village. Ironically, the previous topic flashed in my mind when the greater good was being explained in the movie. You know, how superstitions, beliefs, ego, honour etc. can force people into doing immoral acts...

But anyway, do check out the movie for the ultimate comedy! You might want to get hold of subtitles if you are uncomfy with british accent, cause there are subtle dialogues at some instances.The funny dialogues i remember:

(A policewoman says Hi to nicolas angel when he gets introduced to the new police station)
Danny:(standing beside nicolas) And she's our only policewoman.
Nicolas: She is not a police woman.
Danny: Yeah, she is. I've seen her bra.
Nicolas: She's a police officer. Being woman has nothing to do with it.

(Another incident, where they curiously try to figure out people walking on the road)
They see a giant retard walking down the street.
Nicolas: Okay whats his story.
Danny: Oh, that's Lurch. He's a trolley boy at the local supermarket. Real name, Micheal Armstrong. Dad says he's go a child's mind. And lives up summer street with his mum and his sister.
Nicolas: And are they as big as he is?
Danny: Who?
Nicolas: The mum and the sister.
Danny: Same person.
Nicolas: What shop were u thinking of..(changing the topic)

The First Rain

2007-06-01T23:59:00.001+05:30

Yep. Was lucky enough to get wet. At the same time I was scared of the coming days. Mumbai changed my attitude towards rains. I despise it. Aw man, how have you people been staying here for like life-long. When it rains so much, you dont want to go to classes or work or do anything. If I had XX threats during odd semesters, reason was rains. :D
So we were out today for dinner and it rained. I was thinking if there was a forecast earlier in the day and then The Weather Man(2005) flashed in my mind! Nicolas Cage. He seemed so depressed. The movie carried a sympathetic humour all along, trying to enlighten souls which are stuck in comparable positions as the weather-man. The movie is about "chucking shit things in life" and to be happy. Now deciding or knowing what is shit, is a suspense. There's a new slang term to be learnt from this movie and I cant believe wikipedia has this elaborative article on this term with references and also says that this term was a key plot element for this movie.

Ah dinner was good. New Laxmi is good. Food is same, prices around 5 rupees higher, but the aura/lighting is fundoo.

PS: I am finding LJ more shittier day by day, and blogspot more lovable due to its COMPLETE customisation for free.

Snooker !!

2007-06-01T23:58:00.005+05:30

Back home I got two best friends, both of them 'spoilt' to unimaginable extents. After our 12th, one of them went to Trichi and the other stayed back. So, during my 2nd year and 3rd year summers, I was introduced to Snooker to which this friend had got addicted to so much cause he was left alone. And let me warn ya, snooker is addictive, completely. We spent those summers in that smoke filled hall, chalking the cues, puffing away cigarettes and taking fine shots at the balls with infinite attention. We even went there after 2 beers on one afternoon!! It was awesome. Losers in academics attented that place regularly. Daily. Speaking vilest telugu ever known. So, this friend of mine was also a learner and used to talk to those bunch of losers to take fundaes and learn how to play good. Those guys were real good, i mean if there was any kinda competition in hyderabad and if these guys knew about it, atleast one would have bagged a prize. So, it was like, we used to spend the whole day, like some 7-8 hours at that place. Prices were real cheap, cause there was no demand and the regular costumers couldnt afford too much. Rs. 30/Hr. Effectively we were active on the tables for maximum 4-5 hours. And we took care not to spend more that 60 per day. heh. There was this thing called LTP -- Lose To Pay. When we both were amateur with snooker, we trapped novices into LTP pacts and made them pay.

Snooker is stunning. The game is simple. You have some red balls, each carrying one point and you have 6 different coloured balls each carrying points from 2 to 7, placed positionally. Aim is to complete all the red one's initially. Every pocketing of red ball follows a pocketing of any colored one. If the colored shot is successful, it is placed back to its position. or else it is left at its displaced position. When all the red balls are done with, you start pocketing the colored one's in ascending order of points without replacing them back. The main crux of the game is in the complication of choosing the balls. During the pocketing of red ones, you have to specifically say which ball you are gonna pocket along with the pocket you are aiming at. If, due to bad luck, the cue ball first hits an adjacent ball or if the chosen ball falls into a different pocket than you specified, you have a foul of -4.
After the completion of red balls stage, you dont even have a choice to choose the coloured ball because you follow the ascending order, however 'specifying the target pocket' rule still follows. This complication is taken advantage of after the completion of red balls. We called it snooking. When you know you cant pocket the coloured ball, you make sure that after you hit it, the cue ball and the coloured ball settle in such a position that the line of site between them is blocked by some other coloured ball, there by deliberately making the other player's turn a foul. :) HItting a not-to-be-first-hit colour weighs foul points equal to that colour point.
There were certain games in which, my opponent was more than 40 points ahead of me after all the red ones were done, and I was able to defeat him by snooking too many times :P.

I was addicted to the game. And when I was back after 3rd year summer, I was desperate to continue playing the game in mumbai. To my bad luck, I couldn't find one near to my college and I was forced to play at a table in Heeranandani a couple of times, with sky touching price of Rs. 150 per frame. A frame lasts for 20-40 mins :(.

I truly miss chalking the cue, concentrating and applying physics collision rules while taking aim, jumping after successfully pocketing a difficult one, those 90-degree-shots(a customized name given by me), rebounding a ball which was touching the side wall, Surfing ( when you are snooked with some other colored ball in the line of site, you surf the cue ball by making it take a curved path by spinning it and it IS extremely difficult ), those reverse spin and dead stop shots... and all the innumerable techniques which were learnt. :( .

And I know, I am gonna own a table as soon as I can barely afford it :D.

Envy

2007-06-01T23:58:00.003+05:30

They say a gift from the God
having a heart to share,
loving one and being loved
forever staying with care

is it a curse from the same
having a heart so wide!
and they gave it a name
jealousy from the other side

trapped in the norms
controlling hopeless minds
I cant eat these worms
let me stay with my kinds. :P

___________________________
completed this one finally ... was void of rhyme and words at that time..

peace out.

2007-06-01T23:58:00.001+05:30

fill those burning skies
with a drop of white
clear those gloomy cries
without a pinch of fight

cradle thy hearts
let them blend and play
let no piercing darts
come in the same way

dejected by the sorrows
losing oneself is not right
clear those paining arrows
spread love without a plight

Justin Timberlake

2007-06-01T23:57:00.003+05:30

I thought I would never like POP again. That was until I saw Justin Timberlake's video from FutureSex/LoveSounds album. The song is called What goes around.. comes around. The song is about infidelity and describes a scenario about how karma acts if you cheat on your lover. With Scarlett Johanson cheating on our Justin, the director decides to brutally kill her in an accident at the end of the video. Initially, I was disappointed on the climax, but when I checked the lyrics it was completely different. Lyrics are normal, kind-of with sadistic revenge instincts, but then are based on fundamental democratic views :P.(The interlude part). Anyway, the tune was catchy and I checked out other songs of the album only to be completely blown away by this artist's experimental music( to me atleast) . Just awesome!.. the following songs are must-checkout. Initially one may find them wierd.. but then reading those most simple lyrics gives such a fresh experience which I never was able to get in other pop or even Alternative/Rock.

After What Goes Around .. comes around, my favorites..

1. Love Stoned/I Think She Knows Interlude
This one is simply awesome with a complete rejuvenation in post-interlude part. These four lines are repeated so many times, I just cant seem to get enough of the beauty of the tunes both before and after interlude.

Those flashing lights come from everywhere
The way they hit her I just stop and stare
She's got me love stoned
Man I swear she's bad and she knows
I think that she knows

2. FutureSex/LoveSound
This one seems to be a complete weird one, but great anyhow. There's a repetitive sound similar to the sound from the wheels on a railroad track. My fav. part of the tune is at these lyrics...

just tell me which way you like that
all you gotta do is tell me which way you like that
do you like it like this
do you like it like that

3. My Love
Good one. With catchy fast paced lyrics...

Because, I can see us holding hands
walking on the beach, our toes in the sand

I can see us on the countryside
Sitting on the grass, laying side by side

You can be my baby
Wanna make ya my lady
Girl you amaze me
Ain't gotta do nothin' crazy

4. Sexy Back
Ok types. Can get quite addictive.

But then I hate that girly voice from the MALE artist, at times, infact most of the times. I find it quite gay of the artist
:)

Conservative Hypocrisy.

2007-06-01T23:57:00.001+05:30

Scene 1:
Conservative: The Gujarat roits are perfectly justified.
Liberal : How can you expect if a group of people start massacring your family when you are having a good time watching sleazy hindi video on v-channel
Conservative: Whatever, it is justified.

After a long time had passed.

Scene 2: (Today)
Liberal: Did you hear about the Virginia tech. massacre?
Conservative: Yes.. haha . US doesnt need any enemies.. the psychos they produce are enough. They seem to suppress the freedom of expression to such an extent, people resort to this kind of adventures to vent out their anger.
Liberal: What about India, do they need enemies? (Contemplating on the huge number of open-psychos in co-ordination)
Conservative: Leave India, US boasts itself on being a perfect country to set example to the world on how to develop and how democracy should be. See the kind of people it makes, this is not the first incident.
Liberal: Oh.. (appalled, with an indignation to scream out loud ... on the hypocrisy).

Recipe for Disaster

2007-06-01T23:56:00.001+05:30

a pinch of
leading souls, bleeding hearts,
burning embers, revolting darts

and a spoon of
happy joes, blissful souls,
drooling dogs, lonely fools,
ruthless crows,unforgiving foes,
helpless wise, fearful does

in a bowl of
ever hungry, ever dirt,
rotting soils, forsaken herd,
all those cries, all those woes,
eternal slaves, ignorant retards,

soothe them with the Flames,
heat them with the Flames,
burn them with the Flames,
the Flames of Ultimate Figment.

am having trouble just funding my soul in this town

2006-12-02T13:11:00.000+05:30

how long do they endure
a highly perpetual bore
don't they feel the pain
of constant tickling monotone

i thought i was only a rebel
pertained to just an exterior denial,
until my inner-self awoke
which fiercely to myself spoke
shooting me from an impertinence,
budding up from a naiveness,
shedding a broad ray of light
that i close my eyes tight
just to contemplate the moment
of awaking from a delirious constant.

is it that it?
is there more to fit?
i know this in itself
is a higher order of monotony
to self edify, until my expiry.

______

Inside of you.

2006-11-07T21:59:00.000+05:30

What do I hav to do
to get inside of you, to get inside of you…
coz I love the way u flew
inside my mind you do, inside my mind you do…

I do care what you feel
That’s how I got the reel
oh see what have you done
pretending to be the one
and I hope its true….

what do I have to do
to get inside of you, to get inside of you…
coz I love the way you glue
into ma heart you do, into ma heart you do…

terrible were all my waves
just before I saw your raves
oh see what have you made
like the sunshine in a shade
and I hope its true…

What do I have to do
To get inside of you, to get inside of you…
Coz I love the way you move
When Im inside of you, when Im inside of you…
You…
You…
When Im inside of you…

_________________________________

Song : Inside of you - Rejuvenated ( non-kinky version)
Lyrics: Sirish
Vocals : Douglas Robb (Hoobastank)/ Sirish.
Guitar, Drums, Bass.. regular band members.
Asylum Records
*Promo only*

_________________________________

2006-10-31T23:40:00.000+05:30

Attempt to engage with time
sleep eternally without a chime
Try with people to twine
lay low without a shine
Tenacious to feel the happiness
remain in constant stolidness
Try so hard to the core
hurl away off the shore
Audacious to get enlightened
lost when known the truth
cause its entirely crap
feel stuck in this trap

a trap with liberty to choose
choices make you feel like a goose
Stranger however it may seem
that’s how in life yourself redeem

________________________________

2006-10-04T00:26:00.000+05:30

maybe cursed with a heart
doomed by a brain
destined with a fate
victimized to a pain

gifted as a rebel
endowed with a free-thought
I feel good to tell
nothing really I got :P

God and religion, Poem

2006-10-02T21:06:00.000+05:30

Well, I'd like to keep this very short not to cheat the enormous work thats going to come from me on this topic :D.
Of late I have been referring to many major religions and reading up the matter thats accessable to common public, atleast in a broader sense. And very recently I got in touch with a chat friend who is a devout Jain. The discussion started off with me not believing in God. Rather, I can put it as me losing the belief in God gradually, after more than 22 years, through realisation (realisation! thats ironic :P). Ofcourse, logic and intution being my swords.

The discussion, went on till me trying to prove a fault in the most peaceful religion Jainism and ended in me getting convinced that Jainism was infact successful in coveringup this fault by giving up a vent to its rigour.
I wanted to write this to publicize a poem written by the person as a message, and I found it very appealling, not as appealling as to change my opinions though. Anyway me aside :P, the poem goes as follows.

Nobody knows the power of prayer

but somebody is listening with a friendly ear
for the heart that calls

someone who knows when a sparrow falls

Miracle lies in the power of prayer

faith that can vanish all despair

hope that can bear like a holy light

and brighten the darkest night

When earthly help is of no avail

Theres one friend who will never fail

Just lift your eyes

the anwer is there

Thats the power of prayer

__________________________
I am planning to come up with my analysis and intution as a story (short,long? somewhere in b/w) :P. Lets see, what I can write and when I can write.

__________________________

absolute freedom

2006-09-30T19:35:00.000+05:30

I’d like to do that,
yes, its possible
I’d like to do this
yes! quite possible

practicality overtook possibility
I’d neither do that nor this
living life in anonymity
to the things that are bliss

for a change.

2006-09-08T21:53:00.000+05:30

If you try to measure my interest in ddp(thts my project) over a period of time(weeks on x-axis), :) its a stochastic gaussian white noise with a mean somewhere around 0% and a deviation of 100% :D.

I am 22 already! and I feel badly humiliated for not yet starting an earning. not even a damn stipend I can get. >:P Its terrible when you have all the time in your life and cant party. :P

Shuffle these and its my life
[Sleep(11 hours). browse. music. chat. movie.]

Y god Y!! :P

Hello

2006-08-14T09:14:00.000+05:30

testing 123
thru email :)

--
"Emotion & Intuition are higher forms of logic & reasoning" evolved over time
from the collective experience of many.

.-=-. .--.
__ .' '. / " )
_ .' '. / .-. \ / .-'__
( \ / .-. \ / / \ \ / / \_
\ `-` / \ `-' / \ `-` /
`-.-` '.____.' `.____.'

libido

2006-06-15T03:23:00.000+05:30

In this strange world,
dwells in my id
an overdose of libido
addicted to the superficial

What seems ugly,
subdues the internal beauty
not giving a chance
This is not a fair system

Wish people could reveal
the charm of the heart as equal
And also wish there was a desire
in everyone, for it too :P

moments

2006-06-01T02:55:00.000+05:30

Who kicked a hole in the sky
so that heavens would cry over me..

Totally drenched in the downpour while returning from mocha. Was driving at a speed of not more than 20kmph because I was viewing the world with less than 320x240 pixels resolution. And thts becoz my spectacles had no wipers.

.............

Had nice time at my mama's place and my home. My 2 year old little cousin had his 'first-hair-cut' ceremony at a temple in a remote village. The ceremony is called "Jaawla" in kannada. I had a chance to have south indian traditional meal on leaf plate after almost 5 years! Savouring the food and moments was just unforgettable.

And I had captured a funny video of two village drummers(dunno wat they are called, smone let me know), drumming and dancing for a wedding. I havent got the video yet thou.

...............

Read The Zahir. Hats off to the author. The best part was when he says one cannot be happy in life just by being content about his past successes. And talks about how to forget the past by telling stories to a friend and all and to start afresh each and everyday.

Also read Five Point Someone. Ofcourse it was awesome :D.

................

Arranged

2006-05-12T06:19:00.000+05:30

Is it the magic of ordinary days
Or were you paired in heaven
Bond as weak as of the lace
between you and the one

peculiar case I have
about a solitary woman
see how she does crave
for what she thinks heaven

her folks get her a man
for she ought to be paired
her spirits rose high
solitude now can be shared

this one is no hero she dreamed
for he is no less than a recluse
coward, egotist, taciturn
Not me! she made the abuse

a mistake she has done sordid
listening to the fairy tales
she was left in a state morbid
faith just left her in wails

Can she turn back on her own
She got the limbs mighty strong
To stand on her own
but not a courage in the feeble heart

touch by a grief-stricken Gujju woman.

Test Post Through Email.

2006-05-12T04:27:00.000+05:30

Trying it out

crazy

2006-05-06T03:19:00.000+05:30

The other day I was giving fundaes to my best friend about tolerating a relationship, who was already been into quite many relationships and is committed. Me! How lame! :P. Anyway I gave my untrained thoughts a chance to radiate out to him. Actually we both were high, so it hardly matters.
I said "There is no place for ego in a love relationship. Relationship is as complicated and yet as sensitive as a labyrinth. In case of friendship, take for example you and me.. we both have infinite ego and we know exaclty when its triggered out during a discussion so that we can get into a smooth course. In case of love there no place for ego man! You should be totally devoted to her, its like forgetting about yourself, like the state of Nirvana!" We also talked about infidelity and stuff. I dont remember exactly.

And then the next day, I was trying to recollect things I babbled about and laughed on my unfathomable nirvana funda. Almost immediately I looked up the definition of nirvana on wikipedia and I was surprised to see that Nirvana is Buddhist equivalent of Fanaa in sufism! And its also very true that people are crazy about the movie Fanaa and its songs whose lyrics are like " hona hai thujmein fanaa...". or " tere pyar mein ho jaaun fanaa ..."

Either I must have had the knowledge that nirvana/moksha/fanaa are equivalent and the nirvana funda came out of my subconscious or I must be crazy to think in that direction, who never been into a relationship and added to it, when I was high.

Life ----> Updated

2006-05-04T02:20:00.000+05:30

Its been more than 15 days me writing something. I guess I was busy with exams and stuff. Finally done with fourth year. And the next year is laid before me to be experienced in a way i have never imagined before. No lectures, no exams, no assignments. Just a project, which streches for more than a year. I am scared. Not of the project but of the boredom!

Though confident about the project, there is always a space for suspicion when looking at my track record till now. Its about how committed i am to things. Well, lets see. The prof. has called me tomorrow as to officially start the DDP.

People are going away. People I am close to. Pavan left to hyd. yesterday and I helped him with his luggage. Gave a hug while he was leaving. But I had a sense we should have hanged out on a party the day before. And not to commit the same mistake, me, sai and vatsav went on a treat.

Saw the movie "Darna Jaroori Hai", the midnite show. The movie is so hillarious. Duhh. There were just 15 people I guess in the theatre. I had the sense that those so called talented/famous actors were acting for us(we three)! I mean they were trying to make us feel satisfied and were waiting for an appreciation. Alas! the movie so predictable, lame, lousy, foolish and kiddo. Dang! I was ROTFL. There was pink panther too. I guess we should have checked out that movie. Anyway it was fun. And I never knew CCD has no credit card payment! Arrgh. Atleast at huma. Anyway, Sai is leaving tomorrow.

I started reading Catch-22 and I am quite uncomfortable with the language. So amateur I am at reading that I cannot tolerate changes in writing styles. I was so addicted to the Gracia Marquez style that Joseph Heller unfortunately has to recieve pitiful comments from me. And I also did observe that I had this passion of writing poems and stuff till i was reading Gracia Marquez. Not sure.

Some things seem to be so predetermnined. All the trying hard (begging the profs and mails and stuff) just goes in vain. This time I have just left to the fate to decide about it. Nothing to worry, its about 2 of my courses. The dirty deeds done in the past haunting me. Well, they wont take my life away will they. Peace life.
And finally concluding :). I am highly impressed by this song "Mere haath mein" song from fanaa. It seems to dig out similar tunes from my favourite days. These are more of emotions than just tunes.

Active Blog.

2006-04-22T19:38:00.000+05:30

My active journal link:

http://severe-virgo.livejournal.com

I got friends in there, so its tough to switch to blogspot.

duh!

2006-04-22T07:54:00.000+05:30

first post